Speed Ride to Amritsar | August 2011

Staying outside of India I miss my Motorcycling antics the most and never miss an opportunity to go for a Motorcycle Ride whenever I am on a short/long vacation to India and this time it was no different and it got even better as I combined a trip to my favourite City – Amritsar with a Bike Ride…and then the icing on the cake was that one of my best Motorcycling comrade Gyan was to be my co-rider on this ride….it couldn’t have got any better!!! Gyan being Gyan provides endless moments of fun and is one helluva amazing comrade!!! Our Ride tuning is also perfectly matched and we never shy from speed riding…be it any terrain – Desert Roads, Mountain Curves or Highways on Plains…This was going to be my 9th ride with him after Chail, Chakrata, Kurukshetra, Lansdowne, Jalori, Binsar, Bhangarh and Bikaner…that’s some 5800 kms together on the road!!! Beat that…

I had just 2 days for this ride out of my 9 days India Trip and had to traverse almost 1000 kms in this ride so one thing was crystal clear that it would have been a Speed Ride and knowing me you all would tend to agree that speed riding comes naturally to me !!! My Motorcycling comrades would vouch for this fact…

There were 2 other confirmed riders – Bhinder & Khatri but they declined at the last moment due to some strange reasons and I was kind of expecting it & it didn’t come as any surprise to me...

So the day finally arrived…The Ride dates were 30 & 31 August 2011…

The Speed Riders were:

1. Gyan on his brand new Ceeber – Honda CBR 250
2. Che on The Mighty One

The First Solo Ride



I had never rode this long just being a Solo rider but as they say there’s always a first time so I had to do it…I just could not sleep properly as I was damn fuckin excited for this ride; finally managed a sleep of barely 2 hours but shockingly woke up really fresh at 2:45 AM and rode out of my home at sharp 3:30 AM all decked up and rode till Panipat non-stop…123 kms in 115 minutes with minimal traffic and it was lots of fun just to get back on the open roads after such a long time and I didn’t mind being Solo!!! I waited for just 5 minutes and Gyan came riding on his bright-red brand new machine with his signature smile!!! We hugged each other and started the next leg of the ride…it was just about sunrise time & traffic was still very thin…perfect recipe for 2 speed riders to blast it out!!!

Parantha Time





Just after crossing Karnal we had a brief 15 minutes encounter with the rain & I knew now that this ride would be one helluva amazing ride!!! We stopped near Ambala for a Breakfast Pit-Stop….gorged on Paneer & Aloo Paranthas with some piping hot tea and gave our respective asses a much deserved break!!! Our timing till now was perfect & we were on-track to reach Amritsar by 1 PM…

Red-Bull Therapy





As some of you know I have quit Alcohol & Smoking which means minimal breaks during my Bike Rides but still needed a break just to relax for some bit & luckily I stopped in front of a Bar cum Restaurant which had a small convenience shop outside and I spotted chilled Red Bull there & just grabbed it from the mini-RB Fridge!!! After a sleepless night and almost 350 kms on the road I deserved some Red Bull Therapy to get fresh again & ward off the sleep-demons!!! Gyan got a child KF Premium beer and we did our routine Bakchodi while enjoying our drinks!!!

Speed Thrills…

After speeding for some 470 odd kms The Mighty One had a small breakdown….we had stopped for a piss break just 25 kms before Amritsar & when we started my bike just didn’t start; Checked all the vital parts of the bike & there was no apparently visible issue; tried Dhakka-Start & that didn’t work either; called-up Zaheer & his tips also didn’t help…finally Gyan went ahead to check for a Bike Mechanic & called me that it was just 1 kms ahead…so pushed my bike and reached his shop where he checked the bike and started it but he told me to get it checked at any RE Specialist at Amritsar so that there are no further challenges…and this breakdown couldn’t had come at a worse time; the temperature was a searing 40 degrees and a humidity of almost 9o% odd and I was sweating like a pig plus feeling hot like I have never done before…living in an air-conditioned environment 24X7 in Kuwait has done this to me; I poured 2 glasses of child water over my head to get some respite…and it was such a big-big relief!

Pahunch gaye Amritsar…

Reached Amritsar with The Mighty One riding slowly for a change & we headed straight towards the Railway Station area to find an RE Specialist to check my bike…found a shop after checking with locals…the owner Sardaarji checked the bike and told us that the Tappet Rods had to be replaced as they had gone Kaput after continuous speed riding of 500-odd kms!!! Didn’t surprise me either as the way we both rode it had to end like this! He asked us to wait for an hour before he could finish his work so we decided to utilize that 1 hour in the best possible manner – by having a meal at the very-very famous Kesar da Dhaba which serves the best Vegetarian Food in Amritsar; during my 4 previous trips to the city I had never eaten at this place & my parents had also highly rated this so we had to try it out!!!

Kesar Da Dhaba pe ho gaya kalyan!!!



We ordered a Chur-Chur Parantha Thali…it comprised of Maa ki Daal, Punjabi Chhole, 2 paranthas and a bowl of fresh Boondi ka Raita…in normal circumstances 2 famished riders would have gobbled up the entire thali without any trouble but when you are in Punjab nothing is normal or routine when it comes to matter of Gastronomy…flavour of the food is directly proportional to the amount of Desi Ghee used in the cooking & I believe the cooks at this place have taken this correlation very seriously and poured ghee in all the items like there was no tomorrow!!! We somehow finished the entire meal & followed it up with a bowl of cold Phirni set in a earthen bowl which was the perfect icing on the cake after such a sumptuous meal…

Hong Kong Magic…





Picked up my bike and headed straight towards a Hotel where Gyan had stayed a month back when he dhad visited Amritsar with his wife & another couple…the hotel was funnily named HOTEL HONG KONG INN…I mean why would somebody name a hotel like this tat too in the middle of Punjab, I just couldn’t fathom that!!! But all we needed that time was a cozy bed, a clean washroom, a hot shower bath and an air-conditioned sleep and our silly-named hotel provided all of that! Both of us had a shower and then decided to sleep for some time to get fresh & ready for the evening plans…and boy did we have a sound sleep or what! We slept for some 2.5 odd hours & woke up as fresh as a daisy!!!

Satnam Waaheguru…





The next & the most important part of the ride was visiting The Golden Temple…for the first time I was visiting it during a weekday & was greeted by a much less noisy & crowded Golden Temple which is a rarity; had an amazing Darshan & spent some peaceful moments at the side of the Sarovar reminiscing about the past & thanking God about all the good things he has given me in life…this place takes me somewhere else & I just cant describe what kinds feelings & emotions go through my mind…words fail me in describing the divinity of this place & I am sure all of you would agree to the state of mind I was in at that particular time!!!

Surjit da Jaadoo…





No Amritsar Trip is complete without a gorge at Surjit Food Plaza situated at Nehru Complex, Lawrence Road & we had to be there to feast on the slurping Non-Vegetarian delights….we gorged on Tandoori Chicken, Amritsari Fish Fry & Chicken Seekh Kebab with some crisp & hot Tandoori Rotis…all the while we were eating we went on endlessly with our oohs & aahs….vividly describing the sheer good taste of the food & simultaneously filling up our tummy!!! We finished our meal with Child Pista Milk at Novelty Sweets Shop which is right across the road & the Pista Milk is nothing short of being divine!!!



Bedtime Tales…

Gyan picked up a beer on the way but by the time we reached the hotel his tummy refused anything to be loaded after the sumptuous meal we had just enjoyed so both of us decided to call it a day & surrender ourselves to the sleep gods!!! It was another first; at sharp 11 PM in the night both of us were sound asleep!!!

Nayi Subah – Nayi Shuruaat…





We left our hotel at 6:30 AM & after reaching the Golden Temple I had a snaan at the Sarovar, paid our respects to the God Almighty & headed straight towards Kulwantian De Nan !!! Perfect follow-up after a divine dip!!! This place serves the most amazing Amritsari Nan- we enjoyed Paneer, Gobhi & Aloo Nan with the Chhole ki Sabzi & finished our breakfast with piping hot Special Chai!!! Went straight to the hotel, picked up our stuff, paid the bill, packed our stuff onto the bikes & left from Amritsar at sharp 8:45 AM…another 500 kms on the roads were waiting for us & we were absolutely ready to go!!!

Dumping Time!!!

As all of you know that how much I love dumping in the open during my bike rides & I had to continue this love affair during this ride as well…after creating enough pressure in my body I stopped for a much-needed open-dump & enjoyed it wholeheartedly…it was very sunny, I found some shade below a tree & provided some natural & fresh fertilizer to the soil!!!

I want Wings!!!

Luckily I stopped opposite the same Bar cum Restaurant where we enjoyed our drinks a day back…Gyan decided to enjoy his beer which he had bought in Amritsar & I picked up 2 cans of Red Bull…one for the road ahead…and Gyan’s chakna was some fresh Salad!!! No namkeen this time though…I started the next leg of the ride all refreshed & with some wings…



Puran Singh da Dhaba da Jaadoo

This Ride was all about good food & we wanted to finish the gastronomical experience with another high…last but not the least the POA was lunch @ Puran Singh da Dhaba which is another world-famous Dhaba…there are some 5-6 versions of the Dhaba & we didn’t waste any effort to find the original one as we stopped at the first one which was right next to a theka and was a Government-Approved Drinking Place to boot…ordered Keema Kaleji & Mutton Curry with Gyan enjoying child Carlsberg & me sipping on some child Slice!!! Once again the food was laced with loads of dripping Desi Ghee but we didn’t mind it one single bit & cleaned off everything which was on offer!!!





Rain Therapy…

Left PSDD full upto the brim & the next stop was a forced one…it started to rain heavily & we had to get our rain-gear out…it was a short spell of heavy rain which subsided in some 10 minutes & resulted in some reduced speed due to the wet roads…finally reached Panipat where I bid farewell Gyan & thanked him for another amazing ride alongside him….

Well-Done Che!!!



I reached home at sharp 6:30 PM after a well-spent 39 hours trip out of which I was riding for 20 hours….was on the road for almost 1000 kms….enjoyed some of the most amazing food on this Heaven Earth….visited the most divine place on the planet…dumped in the open…and some amazing memories with Gyan…I couldn’t have asked more from God!!! Another special part of this ride was that this was Gyan’s first ride with his new Ceeber & most importantly he didn’t have a single fall during this ride for which he is notoriously famous in our Motorcycling Domain!!!




My Next Ride would be in November 2011….My club BoP’s 4th Anniversary Ride to a destination in Rajasthan and that ride would be my last ride as a bachelor ads I am getting married on 18th November 2011…there’s no other way to celebrate the last few days of my bachelorhood than to ride along with my BoP Comrades on the pristine roads of Rajasthan…


Che would be back on the road again…

Till then ride safe & have safe sex…

Hasta la Victoria Siempre & Jai BoP…

The Best of The Best

First things First...heres wishing The Mighty One a very Happy 3rd Birthday...

Today I complete 3 years of my relationship with The Mighty One and the roads…exactly 3 years back on 15-March-2008 I bought a Black-coloured 2005 Model Royal Enfield Electra 4S from Rana Pratap Bagh in Delhi, revamped the look and named it “The Mighty One” and the rest as they say is history…atleast for me!!!

I went for my first bike ride within few days of buying my bike on 21-Mar-08 to Bhangarh in Rajasthan & named it “The Haunted Spookies” Ride and my tryst with the Highways started on that day with a 570 kms long one-day ride, too long for a debut ride but still what a ride it was…

Since then I have been following my passion to the T and have traversed exactly 22,485 kms through 24 Motorcycle Rides and have completed almost 35,000 kms on my bike if I include the City Riding as well…I know these statistics won’t mean a lot to many people but for me they count a lot as I have worked really hard during these rides & have had tonnes of fun on the way and I hope I can keep the passion going till the time I am physically able to ride a Motorcycle…

As I look back now at these 3 memorable years sitting here in Kuwait away from my Country, Family, Comrades and “The Mighty One”, I reminisce about the glorious times I have spent with my Bulls on Parade (BoP) Comrades & my other Motorcycling Friends on the numerous Highways, Thekas, Forts, Hotels, Guesthouses, Water Bodies, Ahaatas and have made a list of my Top-5 Motorcycle Rides of my Journey out of the 24 Rides till now…

Some of you have been part of those rides with me & some of you would have read the travelogues and am sure would be able to recollect about these glory rides of my life…And believe me I don’t mean that the rest of the 19 Rides were no good, it’s just that these rides take precedence over the others in terms of the challenges thrown at me, the fun times I had and the company I enjoyed with my fellow comrades…Read on to find more…

The List is in the order of my preference…

The Mountain Tamers (6th June 2008 – 20th June 2008)
http://themountaintamers.blogspot.com/

This has to be the Numero Uno Ride not just for being a Ladakh Ride which is considered The Mecca for Indian Motorcyclists but for me it was much more than that. I went for this ride just 2.5 months after getting my bike & that was really big for me. I joined Yoga Classes in January to be physically fit for this gruelling ride; that helped me a lot & I would suggest the same to all smoking & unhealthy people like me who wish to ride to Ladakh. I went for this ride with 7 other fellow comrades , only 2 of whom I knew previously & we all had a wonderful time together, I met a Living Motorcycling Legend – Rahul MAT Chauhan who has been to Ladakh on his Bike almost 15-16 times till now!!! I met Sunder & Deepak with whom I also went for the West Coast Ride in January 2009. I witnessed the raw & pristine beauty of Ladakh which cannot be portrayed through any photograph or told through words and one has to be there to witness the sheer brilliance of that place. I conquered “KhardungLa Pass which is the World’s highest Motorable Road @ 18,380 Feet or 5602 Metres above Sea Level. I visited Kargil & Drass which were 2 of my dream destinations since the 1999 Kargil War & visiting both those cities gave me memories worth a lifetime. The Ride was relatively mishap or breakdown free for me except 1 or 2 small incidents and last but not the least I traversed 3400 kms in 17 days of this ride. All in All it was Ride which made me a true motorcyclist just for the fact that at times the terrain on which I rode was unforgivable & I needed buckets of mental & physical endurance to counter those tough moments…

The BoP Mcleodganj Mavericks (8th April 2009 – 12th April 2009)
http://cheguevaraontheroad.blogspot.com/2009/04/mcleodganj-mavericks.html

This Ride was big for the fact that BoP finally conquered Mcleodganj after 2 previous unsuccessful attempts & also for the challenging weather we had to endure enroute Mcleodganj, this ride would always stay on the top of the most memorable BoP Rides in time to come. We rode in constant heavy rains from Delhi to Ambala & that’s some 200-odd kms and that too in the night!!! I met with a horrendous accident at Shahpur & due to God’s Grace got saved after falling down on NH-1 at some 60 kmph speed right in the middle of the road in heavy rains; it surely was one of the scariest moments of my Motorcycling Career!!! We had a whale of a time trekking to Triund & witnessing fresh snow on a Mountain Top where we spent a memorable time together – Camping, Drinking, Dancing & Singing together. Mcleodganj as a place was one of the most-chilled out places I have been to. We also had a smashing BBB Session at Ambala at a shady Highway Bar where we planned our next moves & I am sure Surjit (Sunny) & Diptinder would agree with me. We traversed some 900 kms during this ride.


The West Coast Riders (11th January 2009 – 26th January 2009)
http://thewestcoastriders.blogspot.com/

The second longest ride of my life in which I rode for 3200 kms in the 16 days of this ride through one of the best Highways of our country – NH-17, we completed the entire stretch of this Highway – starting from where it begins at Panvel in Maharashtra to Edapally in Kerala where it finally ends through some amazingly pristine roads, some of which would always remain etched in my mind; specially the one through Maravanthe Beach where we rode right besides the Sea Shore for some 50-odd kms!!! This ride was ultra-special for me as I traversed the Northern-Most Roads of India & the Southern-Most Roads of India within a period of 6 months & I feel extremely proud on this achievement of mine. My Partners-in-Crime were Sunder & Deepak with whom I dream to traverse the Western-Most & Eastern-Most Roads of India someday in time to come. I just cannot describe my strange feelings which ran through my mind when I reached Kanyakumari and thought that I have reached southern-most tip of our majestic country and this is where our country finally ends & the Indian Ocean begins…The Sunset View in a Boat right in the middle of the gigantic Kumarakom Lake also stands out as one of the best moments of this ride. Before this Ride began I had to face some really tense moments due to the Fuel Companies’ & the Truck Operators Strike but due to God’s Grace this ride got over without any single mishap & breakdown…yes none whatsoever. I also attended the Annual Royal Enfield Pilgrimage named Rider Mania at Ooty & those 2 days were strikingly crazy for the amount of camaraderie shared with my fellow Bulleteers from all over India, guzzling endless bottles of beer & dancing on Music across some 7-8 Indian Languages!!! I also accepted the Participation Trophy on the behalf of my Club- BoP & that Ladies and Gentleman is one moment I am never going to forget!!! This was my first & only ride where I rode through South India & I dream to traverse the East Coast as well one day…Inshallah.


The BoP Bikaner Boomerangs (12th December 2009 – 15th December 2009)
http://cheguevaraontheroad.blogspot.com/2009/12/bop-bikaner-boomerangs.html


Riding through Rajasthan is always special on those Majestic Roads through the History-Laced state & if you have a bunch of crazy BoPians with you then one doesn’t need anything else!!! Traversing the divine NH-11 Highway was extremely pleasurable. We also camped one night in the middle of the Desert with some Traditional Music & endless supply of beer to give us company, if you think that was crazy then one had to go through the Tomar Magic in the night – one of the craziest Nights of my life with Sanket Tomar aka Kunwar Ji in full flow singing away to glory with me giving him some percussionary company!!! We also had the pleasure of relishing authentic Laal Maas- a True Blue Rajasthani gastronomical delicacy - one which leaves you in tears & a tough next early morning dump and to enjoy this treasure one has to be really brave!!! We also crossed Churu which is India’s hottest place & after being at Drass (India’s coldest inhabited town) this was a nice combo to complete. I also rode a camel for the first time & that camel race with my comrades which I finally won gave me unbelievable pleasure!!! Being at “The Indira Gandhi Canal” which changed the agricultural fortunes of this Desert State was also a memorable moment of this ride. This was the first BoP Ride where we rode for more than 1000 kms and finally finished at an odo-reading of 1125 kms in those 4 glory days!!! Riding through Rajasthan has always been tremendous & I also dream to visit Jaisalmer, Udaipur & Jodhpur one day as they are still missing from my Motorcycling Resume.


The BoP Jalori Juggernauts (19th June 2009 – 22nd June 2009)
http://cheguevaraontheroad.blogspot.com/2009/07/jalori-juggernauts.html

This was the biggest ride of BoP till date with 13 Motorcyclists – 9 BoPians & 4 of our Non-BoP Comrades. The Ride started on a high note with a BBB Session at Gyan’s place in Panipat which luckily passed off without any mishaps as we were sensible enough not to repeat our Chucklers Fiasco!!! This was also a special ride for us as we had decided to camp for 2 nights in the Himalayas & decided not to stay at any Guest House or a Hotel and had a smashingly brilliant time during both those nights. One was spent at Narkanda on a hill-top in the middle of nowhere with Bonfire, Music, Hukka, Loud Chants of “Jai BoP” and also hot food served right at our campsite. We camped at The Sutlej Riverside during the 2nd night getting high & drunk and eating Chilled Mangoes as Desserts – that was some experience for all of us. Even though our return journey was not the most pleasurable one wherein we had some 6-7 breakdowns & reached home after some 21 hours of starting early morning but still this ride had all our regular ingredients which makes BoP an integral part of my life – Beer, Bullet & Bakchodi and I can’t imagine my life without these 3 Bs!!! Another B was also added during this ride as I talked to my Fiancé Bandita for the first time during this ride & started a lifelong journey of togetherness…what else could I ask for…

Che Guevara on the Road : A Statistical Study !!!!


Life since March 2008 has been one helluva ride & I have had so many amazing moments during these 3 years none of which wouldn’t have been possible without my Royal Enfield Motorcycling Club – Bulls on Parade & all of my dearest club comrades…They have given me memories which I am going to treasure till the end of my life…Thanks to each one of them & I am sure I would enjoy their company in years to come…

I would be conquering many more destinations, traversing many more roads & making many more friends in the future while I would be on the road but these 5 rides would always take a special place in my Motorcycling Repertoire…

Jai BoP…

Che would be back on the road again…

Till the time we meet…ride safe & have safe sex…

Hasta la Victoria Siempre…

The BoP Neemrana Naags

I don’t know why God plays so many Weather Games with me during my Motorcycle Rides but still he does; I kind of enjoy these games but at times they take a heavy toll as it has happened in the past and this time it was no different…if it were not the rains this times then the Fog played spoilsport & we had no answer to it this time round…

This ride planned on Sunday 27-February-2011 was supposed to be “The BoP Abhaneri Ajgars” but we were fogged and it became “The BoP Neemrana Naags”…initially it was big setback for all of us but by the end of this ride none of us minded it too much because the ride had all the BoP elements – Bakchodi, Beer, Liquor, Laughter & to top it all 190 kms. of Riding…

I badly wanted to conquer Abhaneri as it has the World’s deepest Baoli or Stepwell and the photographs on the Internet were enamouring to say the least plus I was very excited to do a long bike ride as the next one would only be in Aug/Sep 2011 but in the end we all had to settle with Neemrana…but what a time we all had…read on to find more about the Ajgars-turned-Naags…

The Naags were:

1. Vikas Garg aka “Tony Basher” on his Maroon Modified Beast
2. Diptinder Singh Chhabra aka “Maker’s Mark” on his Black Electra 4S
3. Rohan Kaushik aka “Dawaai Bataane Waalaa” on his Green Classic 500
4. Aman Maangat aka Guest as Haaji’s Pillion
5. Vihans Gupta aka “Pillion by Choice” as a Jagat Pillion
6. BK Atreya aka “Prescription Likhne Waalaa” on his Red Karizma
7. Dhruv Malik aka “Offroader” on his Silver P220
8. Deepak Chauhan aka “Kam Khaane Waalaa” on his Black P220
9. Shubham Sachdev aka Moody on his Black P220
10. Che aka “Snoring-Sleeping Motorcyclist” on The Mighty One


Hangover Start…

We had a BBB Meet in the night and I got back home drunk, slept for just 4 hours & woke up sharp at 4:30 AM to be at the LVP Start Point at 5 AM. I had a severe hangover-induced headache, wasn’t feeling too well & on the top of that couldn’t manage a dump; all ingredients for a tough start. Unexpectedly Vinamra reached the last and we finally started the ride at 5:45 AM in clear & pleasant weather.

Ajgars get fogged…

As soon as we crossed Manesar after encountering the shitty traffic enroute all hell broke lose & we were hit by extremely dense fog and almost zero visibility. I was leading the pack of riders & just could not ride with ease, it was painfully tough to ride through the fog as it’s the case with me always but somehow managed the courage to ride on – taking inspiration from The BoP Amritsar Aakramaks Ride when I led a pack of 12 riders through similar fog for almost 60 kms but this time I couldn’t repeat that act of valour & finally stopped…The Ajgars got together & we decided to finalize our next move at the next Dhaba with some much needed Hot Tea…

Ajgars turn into Naags

As Prem Chopra famously said in one of his many movies “ Mera naam ha Ajgar, main dasta nahin, nigal jaata hun”’ we tried our best to stay as Ajgars and tried to swallow the fog but it was way too much for me so we all decided to stop for an early Breakfast Pit Stop and abort our Abhaneri Mission.

The Tony Fiasco…

This is for you Vihans – “I accept my fault of stopping at “Tony Cold Drinks” which was a nightmare for all of us”….more so for Vikas who turned into a Tony-Basher at this infamous joint. I was feeling very sick & wanted to dump badly so decided to stop at this small joint on NH-8. I went straight to dump with my dear comrade – Deepak Chauhan who also wanted to dump to get ready for the upcoming breakfast & snakes…

We ordered Paranthas & to say the least they were outrageously atrocious…improperly cooked & with no flavour at all but as all of us were really hungry we somehow managed but Vikas lost his cool & it was a rare sight for all of us as nobody had seen Vikas getting furious in any of our previous rides, he was particularly aghast at the Waiter & blasted him like crazy & good on that waiter’s part as he took all that bashing with a smile & gave some witty but untimed replies which pissed Vikas even further.

Beer Stock-up

During the Tony-Bashing we all decided to head towards the Neemrana Baoli and have another BBB Session at an archaeological site & as all of you know we love getting drunk at places of historical interest; having done that previously at The Tughlaqabad Fort at New Delhi, The Tijara Fort at Tijara, Rajasthan, The Ranthambore Fort at Ranthambore, Rajasthan and a host of others…we stocked up our Beer from a Highway Theka and went towards the Baoli…

BBB @ Baoli…

Until this point we had Vikas with us but he didn’t reach the Baoli with all of us, we presumed he was beating the shit out of that Waiter & we all prayed for his well-being as that poor waiter would have had no chance of matching up to Vikas’ Mega-Size!!! Finally after losing his way 4-5 times Vikas appeared and joined the BB Session…

And then The Naags started another of our legendary BBB Sessions on the top of the Baoli & believe me it was a Vantage Point, we could see the dry fields on our right side & the Baoli on our left; there was a deep well right next to us which always looked a sureshot danger to all of us as there was no way we would have reached the top if any of us would have fallen into that deep shithole!!! But somehow we stayed safe…

Sunny was in full form during the session & never stopped blabbering & for a change I was a much less silent spectator!!! Plus as perfect hosts we were all very courteous towards our “Guest” and ensured that he was in utmost comfort at all the times…Mr. Chauhan gobbled up the Chakhna like there was no tomorrow and this after polishing all those shitty paranthas at Tony’s; man this guy has some appetite…

And then it happened….for me the funniest moment of the day…as BK is studying Psychology I started asking some inquisitive queries about “Depression” and he gave some perfectly legible replies…out of the blue Sunny asked him “BK Bhai, tu prescription likh sakta hai?” to which BK very innocently replied”Haan” and then came the bummer….pat came Sunny’s reply “Dawaaiyiaan main bataaunga!!!” & after that for well over 7-8 minutes only laughter peals were heard from all of us….I guess for people who were not there can’t get the humour out of this but believe me it was hilarious & that’s an understatement…I still laugh whenever I think of Sunny’s reply…

The Pics say it all….how much we enjoyed the BBB Magic…all over again & hopefully the good time never get over!!!

Talli Sleep…

I got so exhausted after so much of laughing & plus I got drunk as well that I decided to have a short nap at the Baoli-Top and what a blissful sleep it was, I mean how many times would I enjoy that kind of a sleep…I don’t think I would be second time lucky…I was told that I was snoring very loudly as well!!! In my defence all I have to say is that I had not slept properly for the last 3 nights & I very well deserved that nap…

Baoli Visit…

After Drinking, Bakchoding, Smoking, Eating & sleeping we decided to go down towards the Baoli, we all thought that the Baoli deserved one trip atleast!!! It was very well constructed & surprisingly well-maintained as well…I even went to the bottom of the well which was an extremely dirty place with so much of littering…another example of our thankless & uncivilized countrymen who don’t know to appreciate & preserve the historical heritage of our beautiful country…

Lunch Time…

The Laugh-Exhaustion finally took a toll on all of us & we left the Baoli to get some much-needed & deserved good food for lunch after the Tony Fiasco and this time Dhruv didn’t make a similar mistake as what I committed, he referred us to Hotel Tokas Midway which was bang opposite the Neemrana Cut…it was nice-little place & surprisingly clean for a Highway Motel…we ordered our food & it was served piping hot in literally no time & as we have experienced in the past once the food was served we all were quiet for the next 30-odd minutes gobbling up the food as some hapless Somalians would have done in UN Camp!!! The lip-smacking food was the best way to drive away the disappointment of the pathetic breakfast we all had to endure…

We all rested in the Garden for some time & resuming our Bakchodi once again & the weather was also perfect for it…not too much sunshine & a cool breeze flowing through…

Non-Stop to Gurgaon…

At last we had a long-run…some 90 odd kms where we all rode non-stop towards the Gurgaon Toll where we had decided to gather for the final goodbye…Sunny had to stop midway for a dump so he & some other riders came late…I passed my time asking for a light from people crossing us but to no avail & was kept waiting till Sunny joined us who as always had flipped my Lighter!!! I had the final Sutta of the ride and then we all bid goodbye to each other promising each other that we would meet again…Inshallah…

Another first was that we had reached way before our regular Ride-Return Time so me & Vinamra decided not to have our Final Beer Break but not before we loudly chanted “Jai BoP”…that’s one tradition which would be never ever be done away with…

Though this ride would always remain a disappointment to all of us as for the first time in BoP’s history we were unsuccessful in conquering our final destination but still the Baoli-Top Bakchodi made up for it…

The Pics from the Ride:

Dhruv’s Pics: https://picasaweb.google.com/105356869555002733917/BOPNeemranaNaags
Vikas’ Pics: https://picasaweb.google.com/gvikiv/WeekendRideToNeemrana?feat=directlink
My Pics: https://picasaweb.google.com/jha.nishant/TheBoPNeemranaNaags?feat=directlink
Shubham’s Pics: https://picasaweb.google.com/shubhs86/NeemranaNags

I would be riding next only in August or September 2011, that’s when I would be visiting India next…till then I would try my best organizing BoP Rides from here in Kuwait & keeping the Bakchodi Mails flowing…

Che would be back on the road again…

Till that time have safe sex & ride safe…

Hasta la Victoria Siempre…

Jai BoP…

2010 Oscar Awards...My Selection...

Watching Movies & following them has always been a passion for me since my childhood days but since the last 5-7 years never got enough time when I was in India to watch too many, used to watch the latest Hindi Ones in Theatres but rarely watched any English Movies except for some and then in March 2010 I came to Kuwait and rest they say is History!!! I have been on a Movie-watching spree since then I have watched 130 Movies (70 Hindi & 60 English), Yes I maintain an excel sheet to keep a track!!! Kuwait gives me ample time to pursue my hobby of watching & following Movies and I am lapping it up here…

The nominees for the 83rd Academy Awards were announced on January 25th 2011 & I decided to watch all the movies nominated for the Major Award Categories (I had watched only Inception out of the list before)…and here I am almost a month later & have watched all those movies except two – Biutiful & Toy Story 3 for obvious reasons, Biutiful is a Spanish Movie & I ain’t no Spanish Expert and I haven’t watched Toy Story – 1 or 2 so making the 3rd edition wouldn’t have made much sense…

The Award Ceremony would take place on the 27th February 2011 but sadly I wont be able to watch it Live as I would be riding to Abhaneri in Rajasthan then as part of The BoP Abhaneri Ajgars Ride but as you all know Motorcycling comes first for me…always & every time so I am not too sad about that and would check the results online during the ride…

So after watching these 13 movies here’s presenting my own Oscar Awards for Cinematic Brilliance in the Year 2010 for the 6 Major Categories…I am sure all of you out there would have your own favourites as well & I am hoping for some level-headed debate after you read this post so folks…bring it on!!!

The Nominations are mentioned first & then my Winner comes later….

Enjoy Reading…


Best Film

127 Hours – Danny Boyle and Christian Colson
Black Swan – Scott Franklin, Mike Medavoy, and Brian Oliver
The Fighter – David Hoberman, Todd Lieberman, and Mark Wahlberg
Inception – Christopher Nolan and Emma Thomas
The Kids Are All Right – Gary Gilbert, Jeffrey Levy-Hinte, and Celine Rattray
The King's Speech – Iain Canning, Emile Sherman, and Gareth Unwin
The Social Network – Dana Brunetti, Ceán Chaffin, Michael De Luca, and Scott Rudin
Toy Story 3 – Darla K. Anderson
True Grit – Ethan Coen, Joel Coen, and Scott Rudin
Winter's Bone – Alix Madigan and Anne Rosellini

And The Award goes to “The King’s Speech”…
The way they have recreated Britain of yesteryears immaculately & for the sheer brilliance of Colin Firth the award goes to this movie…

Black Swan was my 2nd choice….


Best Director

Darren Aronofsky – Black Swan
Ethan Coen and Joel Coen – True Grit
David Fincher – The Social Network
Tom Hooper – The King's Speech
David O. Russell – The Fighter

My Award would have gone to Danny Boyle if he was nominated as he has made a brilliant movie which could have been a big bore due to its documentary-styled storyline but it never was boring and kept me glued all the time…

But sadly Boyle wasn’t nominated so my Award goes to “Tom Hooper” for The King's Speech…I had thought this movie would be a boring one due to its storyline but I was hopelessly wrong; I found this movie very very interesting & from a Direction point of view the best one from the nominated lot.

Best Actor

Javier Bardem – Biutiful as Uxbal
Jeff Bridges – True Grit as Rooster Cogburn
Jesse Eisenberg – The Social Network as Mark Zuckerberg
Colin Firth – The King's Speech as Prince Albert / King George VI
James Franco – 127 Hours as Aron Ralston

An easy choice… “Colin Firth” for The King's Speech all the way…The way he has brought realism to his character is mind-boggling…the angst, the lack of confidence…he defines both of them superbly…

James Franco was my second choice…

Best Actress

Annette Bening – The Kids Are All Right as Nic
Nicole Kidman – Rabbit Hole as Becca Corbett
Jennifer Lawrence – Winter's Bone as Ree Dolly
Natalie Portman – Black Swan as Nina Sayers
Michelle Williams – Blue Valentine as Cindy

This was the toughest choice to make for me… “Natalie Portman” for Black Swan…her performance simply blew me away…amazing is the word….but all the 5 performance were top-class this year…I choose Natalie because she was the most intoxicating!!!

Jennifer Lawrence was my second choice…

Best Supporting Actor

Christian Bale – The Fighter as Dicky Eklund
John Hawkes – Winter's Bone as Teardrop
Jeremy Renner – The Town as James "Gem" Coughlin
Mark Ruffalo – The Kids Are All Right as Paul
Geoffrey Rush – The King's Speech as Lionel Logue

The Award goes to “Christian Bale” for The Fighter…his portrayal of Dicky Eklund was damn impressive, he has put life in such a hopeless character, the way he has portrayed the look of a Drug Addict & a loser-boxer, the way he has given the TV interviews in the movie, the way he treats his younger brother…and its always tough to play a real-life character & do justice to it… I am sure there won’t be many people disagreeing on this one…

Geoffrey Rush was my second choice…and I believe that Jeremy Renner was an awful nomination...

Best Supporting Actress

Amy Adams – The Fighter as Charlene Fleming
Helena Bonham Carter – The King's Speech as Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon / Queen Elizabeth
Melissa Leo – The Fighter as Alice Ward
Hailee Steinfeld – True Grit as Mattie Ross
Jacki Weaver – Animal Kingdom as Janine "Smurf" Cody

The final award in my list goes to “Hailee Steinfeld” for True Grit…she was the protagonist of the movie and what a stellar performance…only she could have upstaged Jeff Bridges in a battle of performances& she had the talent to come out as the clear winner…

This has been an amazing year for Hollywood with some magical movies which released this year and the Academy Awards Jury ahs given the nominations to the best movies and I hope the same kind of good sense prevails when it comes to awarding the Final Winners as well…

Enjoy the Ceremony on Sunday The 27th of February 2011...

Che Guevara would back on the Road again...

Till then have safe sex & ride safe...

Hasta La Victoria Siempre...

Gunda - A Lesson in Meditation & Levitation

There are three kinds of movies in this world. Good, Bad & Gunda – Ancient Chinese Proverb.

This proverb aptly defines the magic called Gunda…even the word “Magic” sounds so small…its an epic, a cult movie, sheer cinematic brilliance, a poetry of words, a musical symphony. Ohhh…words fail me…in describing this Sir Kanti Shah’s 1998 epic movie…yes Queen Elizabeth has decided to award Kanti Shah with the title of “Sir”…and for the first time The Queen would be bowing down infront of anybody and this would only done in the honour of the Maverick named Kanti Shah…Press has been banned from covering the “Knighting” ceremony as The Queen wants to share some private moments with Sir Shah and don’t want any intrusion into the best moments of her life…

I think my life was incomplete for the last 12 years till I watched Gunda yesterday and it was nothing short of an Orgasm, cinematic orgasm that is(don’t get me wrong, I get my real orgasms after all the right reasons only)…infact getting orgasm after orgasm…it is a never ending high…and I am sure I can’t get over the magic of Gunda, it has a spell over me which would stay with me for the rest of my life; infact I don’t want to come out of it because life without Gunda would be like Bullahh without his Khullaaah spirit…can you even imagine Bullahh without his poetic dialogue delivery? I am sure you can’t…that’s how I can’t live without Gunda flowing in my blood…it’s like Red Blood Cells for my body now…my life would never be the same again… its levitation & meditation rolled into one joint (Pun intended!!!)…

Gunda is not just a movie, it is much beyond that…it is a lesson about “How to make a movie” and must be taught in all Film Institutes & Acting Schools – no theoretical lessons would be good enough infront of this 2 hours of cinematic brilliance. It also talks about “Open Economy” & “Customer Satisfaction”, it even talks about promotion of Vegetarianism & Maneka Gandhi is also proud of this movie & she is often heard talking about this movie in all PETA Forums…it must be made a case study for all B-Schools & Economics Courses. And I have crisp arguments on each one of them…

When Bullahh says “Mera naam hain Bullah, rakhta hoon main khullaaaaaa” he is not pointing towards any part of Human Anatomy but to his views about Economic leanings of his mind, he has an open view towards everything he does & doesn’t hide any of his feelings & principles…

When Ibu Hatela says “Mera naam hai Ibu Hatela,Maa meri chudail ki beti, baap mera shaitan ka chela, khayega kela?” he is not talking about finding a replacement for dildos but in his own subtle way he is promoting Vegetarianism…He must be made a Brand Ambassador for PETA with immediate effect…Pamela Anderson is passé…

When Shankar’s father tells the corrupt Police Inspector Kale ““Lagta hai Bullah ka thook chaata hain tumne, peshaab piya hain uska” he is implying his angst on the hands-in-gloves relationship between criminals & police and this was many years before we have seen this Nexus coming out open through the Media…

The Movie also talks about morals & values of any civic society…this is clearly personified when “Chutiya” (played amazingly well by Shakti Kapoor) innocently asks his big brother Bullahh “Bhaiyya bhaiyya, rape karna kya buree baat hai?” and our man Bullah has simply no reply to this stark question…yes even Bullah doesn’t have answers to some questions…unbelievable but true…

Do you think that only the movie “Lage Raho Munnabhai” taught us values of Mahatma Gandhi, if you think so then you are woefully wrong…years ago Gunda taught us these lessons so subtly…there is an emotional scene in the movie when Shankar’s father pleads & tells him not to take vengeance from Bullahh & his team, one can easily spot a portrait of Gandhi Ji in the background…even without taking his name we learn so much about his ideals of Non-Violence & Brotherhood…

We have been witness to so many Brother-Sister-themed songs & scenes of Rakshabandhan being played out endlessly in the movies of 60s & 70s and then there was a lull in the 80s where such relationships were conveniently ignored till we watch the most tragic scene of the movie (I am sure all of you would agree) when Bullahh has the dead body of his sister in his lap & he says “"Munni ? Meri behan Munni ??Accha toh tu mar gayi ?? Lambu ne tujhe lambaa kar diya ?? Maachis ki teeli ko khambaa kar diya ??Arre Maine toh tere liye kitne ladke dekhe the ..Woh bhi ek se badhkar ek chikne. Jo tujhe bhaata wahin tera pati banta ... Magar tu toh katailaa gurdaa .. yaani ki .. murda ho gayi .. ??" We see so many dreams getting witnessed in just a single shot filled with tears & emotions…

Till Gunda came out we had only heard about Cow, Buffalo, Goat, Yak & Camel Milk but here’s an interesting innovative idea which comes out of this cult movie… Lambu Atta tells the Kafan Chor Neta - "Ae kafan chor neta....mere naam ki kawwali gana chhod, Kaam ki baat bata. Jis kaam ke liye tu billi ka doodh peeke dilli se aaya hai." The White Revolution of India would have taken an all-together different route if this dialogue would have been followed seriously…of domesticating & rearing cats for their milk…

Long before Viagra was invented by Pfizer, Bullahh found out “Vitamin Sex” tablets and used to source them from UK (lesson in Free Trade) and then gave them to his brother Chutiya so that he becomes a Man & come outs of his confused state of mind about his sexual leanings and when finally he becomes a man a very poignant song is sung by eunuchs “Haye haye mere bhai jawaan ho gaya, toota hua teer kamaan ho gaya“, Bullah is seen dancing like a mad man in this particular scene, so much so for brotherly love…

Homosexuality has been shown in Bollywood Movies only since the last few years but Sir Shah had such an enigmatic vision even in 1998 when he showed Homosexuality not as any cheap gimmick to garner publicity but very intellectually when Lambu Atta tells Kafanchor Neta as he mentions the name of Bullah "Bullah ka naam lekar tune mera khopadi hila diya hai, khada kar diya hai mera"…the judge who gave the famous & historic “Section 377” used this particular dialogue when announcing the verdict in the Court of Law…

The evil of AIDS would have been solved if NACO had adopted Gunda as the Theme Movie for their movement of No-AIDS…as we have rape scenes in Gunda with clothes on, when only the top of the woman’s clothes are torn so that there is no exchange of body-fluids plus in Lucky Chikna’s hanging sex garden a sex worker refuses to have sex without a condom.Applause...what a subtle way of teaching safe sex...

You would have seen umpteen number of scenes where characters have asked for forgiveness from the oppressor until you watch the scene from this movie when arch-rival Lambu Atta begs for mercy and says "Bullah, mere ko mat maar. Mere ko apna bhadwa bana de. Main ladkiyan supply karte rahoonga aur tu maze lete rahena. Tere ko AIDS se bachaane ke liye nirodh ban jaunga. Towel baanke tere kamar se lipat jaunga. Mere ko mat maar. Aur agar maarna hi hain to mujhe cheel-chaal ke chakka bana de. Main saaree lapet kar tere liye dance karoonga…Gore gore gaal gaal gore gore…" I was almost crying at the end of this scene, it captures the pleading so vividly…

Lots of us have read Philip Kotler’s lessons on “Customer Satisfaction” but all those lessons seems an outright theoretical writing & nothing practical comes out of it till you hear Lucky Chikna screaming at a sex-worker who is doing “liptam chipti chipkam lipti” with another guy instead of servicing her client who is waiting for her lying on a bed and When she laments that “Woh buddha kuch karta nahin hain,Sirf bolta hain choos choos meri ungli choos“, Lucky Chikna tells her very politely ”Dhande pe baithi hain to buddha kya, jawan kya, kya chota kya bara, kya baitha kya khada“…This surely is a moment of Cinema meeting B-School Curriculum…and you thought that only Lagaan could be made a B-School case study…

I am soon going to start a Nationwide Movement for “Dadasaheb Phalke Award for Sir Kanti Shah” and I expect everybody’s heartfelt participation, we would launch Dharnas, Hunger Strikes & even Candle Light protests at India Gate and I won’t rest until this award is given to Sir Shah who deserves it the most…

Lagaan & Mother India missed winning the “Best Foreign Language Movie Oscar” but take it from me that if we had selected Gunda as India’s official entry to the Oscars in 1999 we would have tasted the sweet victory of the Academy Award which has eluded all Filmmakers in the past…

My life has changed yesterday and I plead for God’s mercy today for not watching Gunda for so long but today I can say that my life is complete & even if I die today I would die as a satisfied Human Being…for I have watched Gunda now…

My earnest request to all who are reading this Blog & haven’t watched “Gunda”, just leave everything right away…project deadlines can wait & your boss can also take a break but you don’t leave the task of watching Gunda for tomorrow, just do it today…

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4533128454129747129 - Heres the link to the Epic...

Get enlightened…find out the true meaning of your life…watch Gunda…

In the end here are some of the legendary dialogues from the movie…to get the true meaning of all of them you got to watch this movie...

1. Pote – “Mera naam hai Pote ... Jo apne baap ke bhi nahi hote”

2. Ibu Hatela - Naam hai mera Ibu hatela.. maa meri chudail ki beti.. baap shaitaan ka chela... khaayega kela???

3. Lambu atta - Chatri hoti hai kholne ke liye.... chadar hoti hai odhne ke liye, aur chokri hoti hai chedne ke liye

4. Shankar says - "Bullah, ye teri beti hai.", Bullah then says - "ohh!! to ye hai Hasina ka Pasina."
5. Bullah on his Sister's death - "Munni ? Meri behan Munni ??Accha toh tu mar gayi ??

Lambu ne tujhe lambaa kar diya ?? Maachis ki teeli ko khambaa kar diya ??Arre Maine toh tere liye kitne ladke dekhe the ..Woh bhi ek se badhkar ek CHIKNE. Jo tujhe bhAtta wahin tera pati banta ... Magar tu toh katailaa gurdaa .. yaani ki .. murda ho gayi .. ??"

6. Lambu Atta to the neta - "Ae kafan chor neta....mere naam ki kawwali gana chodh, Kaam ki baat bata. Jis kaam ke liye tu billi ka doodh peeke dilli se aaya hai."

7. Pote to Bullah - "ab laashey aise tapkegi, jaise nanhe-munne bachche ke nunni se paishab tapakta hai..TAP...TAP!"

8. Lambu Atta before killing Bullah's sister - "arre main toh samjha tha Bullah ki bahen koi bhangaar ki dukan hogi, sab saamAan toot chuka hoga...lekin haai-haai, Face Sonali, Tangein Raveena, aur Aankhain KARISHMA!!!"

9. Bachu Bhigona to Bullah - "Bullah toone khullam khulla lambu Atta ko maut ke tave par sek diya, Uski laash ko worli ke gutter mein phenk diya!"

10. Lambu Atta on his Brother's death - "nahin mere bhai tu marna nahi, mere bhai tu marna nahin......dum ko pakad ke rakh mere bhai, dum ko pakad ke rakh..... tujhe yaad hai wo dhande waali jo kehti thi .."KUNDAN mere pyare kundan tere badan ko lagaoongi chandan.......... are tangoon ke jhoole me lita ke le jaoongi tujhe isi jahaaj me London. mere bhai tereko yaad he????............. KUNDAN............................. ARE MERA BHAI MAR GAYA RE BHAI! "

11. Chutiya says - ""main to gas ka woh cylinder hoon jo khali hai. Mere chulhe se aag kaise niklegi"

12. Pote to Lambu Atta - "aa gaye bhayya aa gaye!

tene gundagurdi mein bada naam kamaya,kabhi dushmano ko phaada, kabhi kaata,

dikhne mein to tu naata par naam hai lamboo atta"

13. Shankar says - "kisi ne sach hi kahaa hai ki...baap pe poot..pitaa pe ghodaa....kuch nahi to thodaa-thodaa..."

14. Shankar says - "do...char...che....aath...das.....BAS!!"

15. Chutiya says- "mera naam hai chutiya. achhe acchon ki khadi karta hun mai khatiya!!! bullii... kahan hai teri ungli? Bullah bhaiya, ab hoga hallagulla... police aur hukumat karegi, hay Bullah hay Bullah. sab bolenge, dhundo dhundo, kahan hai chutiya, pakdo pakdo kahan hai Bullah...."

16. Lambu Atta justifying rape of Bullah's sister - "areyyy to kaun saa bura kiya!

roti hoti hai khane ke liye.aur boti hoti hai chabane ke liye.

badshah ki behen ho, yaaa fakir ki beti.ek din mard ke neechey aati hai bajane ke liye seetee"

17. Chutiya to ibu hatela - "Mera bhai hai bohat kamina, din rat bahata hai vo hasina ka pasina."

18. Kala shetty: Kaun hai be tu? Mithun Da: Mai hun tum jaise logon se nafarat karne wala,Garibon ke liye jyoti, Gundon ke liye jwala"
Kala Shetty: "Tujhe banake maut ka niwala,Tere seene mein gaad dunga mai maut ka bhaala."

19. After killing Ibu hatela, Shankar meets Bullah and Pote in the docks - "

Bullah: Bada akad raha hai shankar. Ibu hatela ko marke tu ye sochta hai ki tu yaha ka dada ban gaya.

Mithun da: Dada baap ke baap ko kehate hai. Aisa baap jo apni harami aulado ko marne ke liye unko di huyi tarikho ka intezar karta hai.

Potey: Un tarikho ke ane se phele mai thumari zindagi ka calender phad dunga.

Bullah: Teri tarikhen ayengi shankar, magar tere marne ke baad.

Mithun da: Bullah ye crane dekh raha hai, iski halat wahi hai jo is waqt teri hai, jab iski chain toot jati hai toh ye bekar ho jati hai, aur bekar chesen bangar mai fek di jati hai.

Bullah: Mai karane(crane) nahi hu shankar, jahaz hu jahaz, jo samundar ka bhi seena faad deta haiii.

Potey: Humare aage thumari wahi aukat hai jo kenchi ke aage kapde ki hoti hai.

Mithun da: Kapda, yahi kapda akhir mai sabse bada lafda karta hai. Jab ye kafan bann jata hai toh fir admi ko upar jana hi padta hai."

20. "khote sikke ne bhi kya baat boli.... boli toh boli jaise bandook ki goli"

Plus if somebody is whacky & mad enough like me then he/she can download Gunda Ringtones at http://www.tejaswy.com/2010/02/21/gunda-ring-tone/ and set them on their Mobile Phones…I won’t be responsible for any adverse reactions though…
P.S: Thanks to Tejaswy Appalla @ http://www.tejaswy.com/

Che would be back again…

Till then ride safe & have safe sex…

Hasta la Victoria Siempre…